Waiting on Della

As of last Wednesday, February 27th, I woke up the “most pregnant” I have ever been. Today, at 37 weeks and 2 days, I am wading into uncharted waters. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful that I’ve had the chance to carry this baby into the “full-term” phase, especially since Harvey was born at 36 weeks and 2 days… but this is so weird!!! I truly don’t know what I expected… like, I didn’t actually think in my heart of hearts that I would have a baby by now, but I also didn’t really think about what it would be like to wake up each day wondering when it was going to happen. I feel like the patience that mamas have to practice during this part is unlike any other kind that you develop in your life or as a new parent.

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I have the option of being induced when I am past 39 weeks. While this is appealing, and I am totally down with it, I still have mixed emotions about what it would be like if I waited on my body to do its own thing. Who knows, maybe I will change my mind and decide to wait, but the idea of meeting my daughter and going on maternity leave is mighty nice. My history of preeclampsia is also always on my mind. At my last appointment, my blood pressure was the highest it has been during my pregnancy, albeit still completely in the “normal range” and I was actually 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Wait… WHAT?! I am starting to make progress on my own??!! I don’t want to get my hopes up about what this means… but after being induced while I was, as the doctor put it, “zero, closed, and tight” this is like music to my ears. I am also taking evening primrose oil and drinking lots of raspberry leaf tea to get things ready for action. I’ve been having some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there – but nothing serious. The midwife also told me during my cervical check that she could “really feel” Della’s head down there… which obviously gives me fantasy thoughts about a wonderful, easy, quick, and relatively painless (hahahaha) labor and delivery.

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So, we wait. We wake up each day, go to work, and wait. I am really happy to have soccer season to keep me busy – otherwise I think I would be going insane. I am trying not to stress about school right now – there is currently no maternity sub in place for when I go, so I kind of feel like I’m jumping off a cliff there – but I know that it will all get taken care of in the end. I am also trying to be as present as possible with Harvey. He is so curious right now, and his questions about baby sister are starting to ramp up, which I just adore. I think when it does come time for me to go to the hospital and leave him at home, I am going to sob. But, the thought of seeing his face when he lays eyes on her for the first time is truly enough to get me through the next few days/weeks.

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As an aside, I do really love how helpful he likes to be – and as my friend Jessica put it, having a 3yro is pretty awesome when you have another baby because he actually understands and obeys commands like, “please bring me a diaper” or “can you hand me that burp cloth?” or “mommy needs a bottle of water” etc. He loves being helpful and feeling like he is included! 🙂

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Alrighty, well, I hope the next update is my birth story!! Until next time, send some good vibes to the labor goddess above – I need the birthing fairy to sprinkle some magic on me this time around! ❤

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The Newest Cainade Adventure

Last night, we got a phone call around 7:45 with the most incredible news I’ve received since 1:14 PM on March 29, 2016.

Nick: Hello this is Nick (as he answered my phone for me and ran up the stairs to Harvey’s room where we were reading a book together).

Sue: Hey there Nick, this is Sue, is Sarah with you?

Nick: Yes!! We are right here together!

Sue: Well, I have some news for you all! Your NIPT results are in. What do you all think this baby is?

Nick: I think it is a girl, but Sarah is leaning towards “boy” right now.

Sue: Well, everything else on the test looks great – the chromosomal tests are negative for abnormality screenings. Are you ready to hear who’s right?

Nick and Sarah: YES YES YES!!!! (Harvey was also yelling YES at this point)

Sue: It looks like Nick is right tonight… it’s a BABY GIRL!!

And there is was. The most wonderful, joyous news. A sweet, little girl to complete our family.

We quickly began facetiming our family to share the news, and their individual reactions full of elation and excitement were the best. Harvey was shouting “baby sister” over and over. I obviously don’t think it has clicked for him yet, but come this March, he will be getting a pretty good idea of what that actually means.

I have so many things running around in my head right now. First, I am nervous. I can’t help feeling a little anxious about this pregnancy, especially because I experienced a chemical pregnancy earlier in the summer. In addition to that, I had some pretty significant spotting in the first few weeks of my pregnancy, which is always scary. I even convinced myself this was not going to work out.

Once I got over that initial stage of fear and stress, I moved into the next phase which is worrying about the baby and whether or not she is going to be healthy and happy. I also have a fear of recurring preeclampsia along with any other number of pregnancy complications. This is all normal, and it is something I’ve been talking to my midwives about, as well as my therapist.

Ultimately, I know things will work out however they are going to work out. I have a lot of positive feelings and hope for this new adventure. I think most of all, I am looking forward to Harvey’s transformation into a big brother role. He is such a sweet child with a caring heart and loving personality, and I really do think he will see himself as a friend and protector towards his little sister.

I also can’t wait to watch my husband father a daughter. I get teary-eyed thinking about the privilege I feel raising children. Good, kind, children. Two of them. A boy and a girl. I know Nick feels the same way. This is going to be the adventure of a lifetime, and the past few weeks, months, and years have already helped to prepare us for the weeks, months, and years ahead.

No matter what happens, the Cainades, all four of us, will face the days with love and positivity.

Here we go again!! ❤