The cat is out of the bag!

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I am 11 weeks today, and decided that I couldn’t wait any longer to share the news with the world (that and one of my students pretty much outed me on Thursday when he said **in front of the whole class** that I looked pregnant)!!

To be honest, I have felt a little nervous/anxious about when to share the news, and how to tell people. Women are taught that it is a good idea to wait until you are 12-14 weeks before sharing your pregnancy news, largely because the chances of miscarriage decrease greatly after that milestone. However, my reasons for sharing the news are completely my own, and with the love and support that I have from my incredible husband, I wanted to share them with you all here:

Firstly, I have never considered myself a serious “pro-life”, “life starts from conception”, “the baby’s heart beats at six weeks” kind of fanatic. I have always supported women’s rights to make their own decisions about their own bodies and that is that. My opinion on that will not change.

But one day, this crazy little thing happened, where I became a mother. I did not become a mother because I saw the baby on an ultrasound screen. I did not become a mother because I heard the baby’s heartbeat. I did not become a mother because I felt any physical differences in my body. I did not become a mother because I made it to the end of my first trimester without any problems…. I became a mother because I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. You can’t explain the overwhelming feelings of love and joy that you have for the little gummy bear inside your womb until it happens to you. And when it does, you won’t want to wait until “it is an appropriate time” to tell the world. You will want to shout it out from the mountain tops. How can I possibly expect for my friends and family to love and support me and my baby and my husband if they don’t know about it? And how can I possibly pretend like this is not the most important thing that has happened to me in my life up to this point? Well, I decided not to. I am pregnant, today. I am a mother, today. And I will continue to love this baby more with each new second that we are given together, and I couldn’t have kept that fact from the world for one minute longer.

The other reason that I felt compelled to share this news today is because I, as of right now, am one of the lucky ones. I know so many women who have had difficulties with pregnancies of their own, and so many women who would give anything to conceive a child at this very moment. I know women who have never had the joy of taking a positive pregnancy test, and women who never got to hear their nugget’s heartbeat for the first time. I know women who grew their sweet, precious babies for 25 weeks before losing them, and I know women who gave birth to their angels after 40 weeks, without ever watching them take a breath in this world. When I say that I know them… I am not talking about “stories” that I’ve heard. I know them personally. Because I know these women personally, and because they have shared their stories of triumph and sorrow, I have the strength and courage to share my news.

Today, it is good news. Tomorrow, things could change. Anything could happen. This is how the world works. But, I have been working on a few things in my life recently, most of which have to do with telling the truth about how I feel and what is going on inside my head and body. This has made me, and continues to make me a healthier, happier person, and has done amazing things for me and my relationship with Nick. I am here today, with an open heart, open arms, and an open mind. Whatever is meant to be, will be. I know that I want to be a good mommy and for now, that means eating yummy healthy things and taking good care of my body. It also means being true to myself and what I think is the best for me. Sharing my news has brought me so much joy and satisfaction, and no matter what happens, I wouldn’t trade this feeling of elation for anything.

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(our social media announcement which included our “first babies”)

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2 thoughts on “The cat is out of the bag!

  1. Caroline Maclaga

    Sarah,
    Your reasons for not waiting to share your joyous news are the same as mine were. I told a few friends who face infertility and know loss in person before putting it on FB but I couldn’t not let everyone I care about know asap. The day before you posted this, my daughter Emma was born full term but her heart wasnt beating. I so appreciate your acknowlegement of stories like ours and your courage to be open despite the fears. Marianne Williamson said “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Thank you for helping to break the silence that surrounds pregnancy and infant loss. I pray you’ll never find yourself one of us. You & this pregnancy are on my prayer list until you bring this little nugget home! So much love lady.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. sarahtillettcade

      Caroline,
      Thank you so much for your sweet words and your encouragement. I think about you and your family and your baby Emma every single day. It means the world to me that even with everything you are going through, you have the time to read my words and offer your love and support. The world is, and has been, a better place because of kindness like yours. I wish you all the best in your future story, and hope that you know I feel like a stronger woman and mom because of your willingness to share your story. Love and hugs from Durham 🙂

      Like

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